Committed to Love - February 2026

Commitment and love are powerful experiences on their own, but when the two are combined something remarkable happens.

This was not an overnight matter as many of us struggled for years with unbearable internal pressure. Our perfectionism led to distorted ideas as to what love and commitment were about. We could not live with these impossible standards and so we found a way out. Commitments then became painful reminders and we sought to escape them.

Many of us doubted our ability to be reliable, not trusting ourselves to keep commitments. As our disease progressed and the voices of our eating disorder became relentless, we could no longer trust that we could follow through on our social and professional responsibilities.

We also struggled to receive love, often too preoccupied with condemning ourselves for our shortcomings. We could not see, let alone accept, that we were powerless over our drug (the illusion of control). Our ED (eating disorder) voices told us to isolate and think our way into changing ourselves, actions of our disease. All these roadblocks prevented us from seeing that our commitment to ourselves and other ’ s well-being as acts of love.

When we entered the 12-Step rooms... something in us changed.

Many of us came to ABA from other 12-step fellowships. Some of us identified right away yet were unable to make the commitment. For example, many of our fellows share the experience of hearing the solution in ABA but being unable to commit to meal and exercise support in the beginning. We were scared and sat on the fence. We attended meetings and even got a sponsor but were unable to understand how ABA’ s definition of sobriety was loving.

However, we kept coming back because we were drawn to the freedom and life we saw in others. We noticed how our ABA fellows reached out and received our phone calls and texts. We saw them staying for fellowship to answer questions and support others who were struggling. We were a witness to members giving selfless service at the meetings, workshops and retreats. Over time, we found these loving acts were ultimately giving us the strength and courage to keep coming back, whether we were sober or not. We were unknowingly making the beginnings of a commitment to ABA!

To express our gratitude for the encouragement and support we received, we wanted to give back. Newish to program many of us started to participate by volunteering to read, being available for outreach/support, sharing with more vulnerability, and the chairing of meetings. As we took these small actions, our desire to further commit to ABA increased. Many of us sought to get a service position with our home group, followed by being of service at the committee or board level. This gave us a greater sense of belonging and value. We began to understand that we deserve recovery. When we commit to loving ourselves and one another, we discover we do not need a director to keep us in check; love alone does that.

Over time, we experienced freedom by accepting love, a power that we let flow into our lives and through our lives to others. We began to see how being sober was an incredible act of love…a loving gift that keeps on giving!

Personal Reflection: Commitment to Love

I was asked to write about commitment to love. If this question were asked in person, I would turn my head to see if they were speaking to someone behind me — because surely, someone else would be far more qualified to answer.

I do not consider myself to be loved, to show love, or to know how to portray love. It is not a word I use often. It is heavy for me — loaded with deflection, quiver, and doubt. My throat tightens, my chest constricts, my breath shallows. Even writing this hurts my heart.

There is a deeply wounded part of me that struggles to receive love. The grief of this overwhelms me.

Wrapped in shame and unworthiness, my existence can feel flawed and unbearable. I have carried a deep-rooted belief that I should be discarded.

When people say those three words — I love you — confusion rises in me. Questions follow: What did I do right just now? What must I repeat so I don ’t lose this?

A neglected child still trying to survive inside love.

And yet — with all of this — I keep showing up for my program.

Somewhere inside me must live a Higher Power committed to loving me. A Higher Power who knows the truth of me. I have survived 100% of the hardest days of my life because of this loving presence that wants me to keep going — that sees in me what I cannot always see: that I am lovable, worthy, capable, wise, and meant for connection.

Like a phoenix rising, I slowly learn to prop my heart open again — letting my wings be guided by unseen gusts, not just to survive, but to touch fleeting moments of thriving.

Anonymous

“Through working the Twelve Steps I continue to learn about who I am and to love myself, body and spirit, so I no longer need to alter my feelings through any of the quick fixes that my various addictions once provided. I am learning to participate in healthy relationships, to love and be loved. ”

Joan (ABA, pg. 22)

Love Today and Everyday!

Thoughts for Reflection....

What if love is already available?

Are you willing to receive love today?

What could a moment of love look like?

Can you make a commitment to uncover, discover, or recover this love today?

Love from us to you around the world!