Guidelines for Receiving Phone Calls From Newcomers

Thank you for volunteering to receive calls from newcomers. This is a vital aspect of your  12th Step outreach and a powerful tool for maintaining your sobriety. Here are some important suggestions for taking these calls. Remember that you may be the newcomer's first contact with ABA and how you receive the call reflects on ABA as a whole.  (Recall how important your first contact with ABA was to your recovery).  

• We suggest all volunteers for this important service work have a minimum of six months of sobriety. Also, remember you are not isolated in this work: You are  connected with your ABA fellows. Ask for support when you need it. 

• Above all else, ensure that you are truly available when the newcomer calls. If you are tired or irritable or rushed, you will do more harm than good if you ignore your personal physical or emotional state and pretend you are "there" for the newcomer  when you aren't. Far better to take their number and call them back when you are able, or give them the phone number of another ABA member who has volunteered for this service.

• Listen respectfully to the caller. Often they simply need to know that someone cares enough to listen. Just as in a meeting, avoid interrupting their sharing.

• Empathy and understanding are most important. Let the caller know that you understand their pain by sharing briefly from your own experience, as the opportunity presents itself. The newcomer didn't call to listen to your entire story, but a few pertinent comments will let the caller know that you were once in their shoes. Keep  your sharing simple and on point. Don't spend hours on the phone with anyone.

• Tell the newcomer that there is hope, that recovery is possible, that you know this from your own experience. Emphasize that they are not alone. Many of us in ABA were very ill at one time and are now leading happy and purposeful lives, free from the disease.

• Avoid telling people what to do. Emphasize that any suggestions you offer arise from your own experience and that you are not a spokesperson for ABA. 

• If the newcomer talks about frequent bingeing and purging or significant weight loss,  ask if they have received any medical care. Emphasize that they have a physical illness as well as a mental one, and it may be appropriate to explain that the disease can be fatal. 

• Suggest that the caller attend an ABA meeting. Many people are frightened by this  idea. Remind them they do not have to speak but that they may be asked for their name. Provide information about applicable groups’ meeting day, time, and location. If there are other ABA meetings in your city and you know the details of these meetings, you may provide this information also. 

• If it seems appropriate, let the caller know about our textbook of recovery as well as other literature and resources and how useful these have been to you and others. They can purchase a book at a meeting, or by consulting our website (www.aba12steps.org).

• Be sensitive to where the caller may be spiritually. Don't force the concept of God or any particular religion upon them. Emphasize that the 12-Step Program is spiritual, not religious, and is open to people of all faiths or none.

• If you feel comfortable with the caller and available to do so, you may want to invite the  newcomer to meet you for coffee before or after an ABA meeting.

• If the caller is a family member or friend of someone of adult age with an eating  disorder, you may wish to refer them to Ab-Anon. (See the ABA website for Ab-Anon’s page). The only requirement for Ab-Anon membership is that there be a problem of an eating disorder in a family member or friend.  NOTE: If the caller is the parent of a child under the age of 18, explain that the ABA  approach may not be suitable for this age group. Encourage them to seek help from a qualified medical professional.