May as Well (ness)
- 5 days ago
- 9 min read
May 2026
"As she stayed sober and worked the Twelve-Step Program, Victoria changed before our eyes, physically as well as emotionally and spiritually."
(ABA, pg. 71).
‘Wellness” is a controversial word in the health industry. We find this struggle to be a common experience among numerous members in the rooms of ABA; Many of us have gone to extreme measures in the pursuit of perceived wellness and perfection.
What we thought was “wellness” was just a disguise, another cunning and baffling trap of our illness. When we come to ABA, we are asked to curb or even eliminate our "wellness" behaviors. And in doing so, we began to see the lights come on in each other’s eyes as we recognized the drug of control. The dis-ease lies to us, making it impossible for any of us to recover in isolation.
Getting well requires that we accept help from others, often starting with our sponsors, dietitians, and therapists. We accept their direction and follow their guidance to "make us stop" our extreme exercise and eating routines. We are reminded that our disease will fight for its life, so it is natural that we feel petrified at the prospect of letting it go. Eventually though, we come to understand that our extreme adverse reaction against surrendering control and following recovery is just the thing that qualifies us to be here!
When we align ourselves with what is clearly laid out in the ABA text and our program, we experience the beginning stages of well-ness. We start to see the benefits of true health as we change before each other’s eyes and continue our journey working the Steps and helping our fellows. In doing so, we reap the benefits of surrender.
“As she stayed sober and worked the Twelve-Step Program, Victoria changed before our eyes, physically as well as emotionally and spiritually. Within six months her weight returned to normal, she radiated an aura of peace and vitality, and her previously haunted eyes sparkled with joy” (ABA, pg. 71). Our experience teaches us that recovery has immense benefits. The fog lifts and we comprehend better. We are less prone to illness and injury. We come back to life, free and separate from our eating disorder. We feel a sense of belonging as we participate in the solution.
We can find comfort accepting that feelings of both joy and pain are a normal, necessary and healthy part of life. Rather than being tied to a specific outcome, we learn to weather disappointment, become open to new perspectives and experience both triumphs and losses with increasing grace. As our self-respect grows, we gain a deeper understanding of wellness—not in terms of results or obtained perfection, but as acceptance and compassion for ourselves and others on this journey of participation in life.
“Recovery is a lifelong process
toward wellness, balance, and freedom that is new every day.”
-Mary Beth
(ABA, pg. 203 )
Personal Reflection:
Well-ness is Peace Today
Wellness is often defined as the state of being in good health, especially when it is actively pursued. For me, health is peace of mind.
The only effective way that I have found to experience intervals of peace of mind (I'm definitely not at peace all the time, as my partner will attest to!) is through working the 12 Steps. The caveat is that I had to get sober first. I know this to be true for me because I worked the Steps three times while bingeing and purging. When I'm not sober, I'm in self. And when I'm in self, I'm in the delusion that I can wrest satisfaction if only I manage well. This has never led me to peace.
To be at peace I need to face and be rid of the things that are blocking me from the Sunlight of the Spirit. In short, my old ideas, starting with, "carbs are the enemy", to "I know what's best for everyone", in other words, "I am God", must be smashed.
This has not been an overnight matter. Yet when I live the 12 Steps, I find life gets easier because I stop believing every thought that crosses my mind, designed to rob me of my peace.
I'm not responsible for the first thought- those come from the ego- but I am responsible for how I respond to it.
My old response script is as follows:
Some random thought enters my mind, concealing a mistaken belief within it. Example, I mistakenly believe I'm unworthy, unlovable, too much, not safe. All my mistaken beliefs ultimately have the same message- that I'm separate from God.
When I believe these thoughts without question, I feel fear- fear of being bad, punishment, fear of being on the outside, rejected, alone, and unsafe.
The ego comes to the rescue with a laundry list of demands, demanding how you and the world should change so I don’t feel the fear. "To be okay, you must do as I say. To be okay, I must never be inconvenienced. To be okay, you must be grateful when I give you unsolicited advice." The list goes on.
The ego counsels that if others would do as I say, the show- my life- would be great! I use my character defects to get my way- I think control gives me safety, or complaining changes outcomes, or sulking punishes you for not doing it my way, and gets you do it my way!
This self-will run-riot script is revealed to me in Step 4- I clearly see my mistaken beliefs, my fears, my demands, and my character defects. I call this my blueprint. It shows me that when I believe my thinking without question, I set off a chain reaction that leads to my suffering (and often causes harm to others). My problems are of my own making. I find peace when I see this. I stop blaming others for what I am choosing to believe. I ask God to help me to stop believing these thoughts and to remove my fears, my demands and my character defects. When I practice this, day in and day out, I find peace.
It works. It really does.
-Anonymous
Literature Committee: Well Said
ABA Audio Book –
Part 2 Available!
The Literature Committee is delighted to announce that Part 2 of the ABA Audiobook is now available on Spotify! Tune in and listen to all the amazing stories of recovery from our pioneers.
You can now listen on Spotify to both Part 1 and 2 of the ABA book.
Part 1 is the “Program of Recovery” and includes chapters such as "A Doctors Viewpoint", "Joan’s Story", "The Iceberg Theory", "Getting Sober", "Why the Tradition", "The Tools of Recovery", and much more…
Part 2 covers “Stories from our Pioneers” which are the original stories that were included in the first edition of the ABA book.
Part 3 is coming soon! This includes the newer stories that were written for the second edition of the book.
All the recordings and editing needed to create this audio book were done by members of our Fellowship… a great accomplishment that took many hours of work… thanks to all the team and members involved for your service work!
Upcoming ABA Men's Retreat: Well isn't this Amazing
We are happy to announce the upcoming online Men’s Retreat on the 31st of May, starting at 10:15am EST. The Retreat will run for 2 hours until 12:15pm EST — with the final thirty minutes dedicated to a discussion about the potential establishment of a new men’s meeting, and the rough details of that new meeting.
If you do not identify as a man but you feel you belong at the retreat as a gender non-conforming person — you are very much welcome!
The aim of the retreat is to provide a space where men can discuss issues which are not always addressed in the wider Fellowship, and to also create visibility within the Fellowship that more and more men are finding a place in ABA, with many also finding recovery.
The Retreat will be an interactive one with speakers, sharing and discussion. Our hope is that men will at least be heartened in knowing that they are not suffering in isolation, nor do they have to recover in isolation. For many of us, we feel difficulty being vulnerable in the presence of other men, or perhaps struggle with vulnerability when not in the presence of other men.
With the Retreat we hope that we can continue to carry the message of recovery, and to improve visibility. We thank our founders for paving the way to where it’s possible to organise a gathering of this kind for the first time, it’s thanks to them and the hundreds of ABA members worldwide today that we are able to organise this.
We would also like to highlight the ‘No Saints Men’s Meeting’ that takes place every Saturday at 11:30 am EST. The purpose of this meeting is what inspired the upcoming Retreat, and is to provide a space where men can discuss issues which are not always addressed in the wider Fellowship; however the meeting is open to all and if you are not a man you are still welcome.
The wording above is found in our preamble and our members worked hard to make sure the message was clear that while service positions and business meeting voting is reserved for men and gender non-conforming people who feel they belong in a men’s meeting — the meeting is open to all to share and we regularly have speakers that are not men.
We’ve noticed that while there are more and more men in ABA, that our meeting is attended by a relatively small group of regulars. We hope to raise awareness of the meeting and we hope to welcome more people in the room with us in the coming weeks and months.
We give thanks to the founders of ‘No Saints’ that we have the privilege of encouraging more people to attend our meeting and not to establish one for the first time.
Discussions will be had on whether the Retreat is recorded and potentially placed on Spotify to carry the message further, and for there to be the opportunity for the Fellowship at large to learn more about topics that aren’t always discussed.
If you would like to participate as either a speaker or in the organisation of the Retreat, please either email me (Matteo) at: matteoinaba@gmail.com or message me (via WhatsApp or SMS) at: +(44) 7415111045
We hope to welcome you on Sunday the 31st of May, at 10:15 am EST!
Next Month's ABA Workshop: Well Real-ly Now
Let's get creative about recognizing the symptoms of withdrawal and strategies on how to deal with this experience. Withdrawal is not easy but it is a necessary part of getting and staying sober. We also have a member with long term sobriety share on how to continue their journey long after the withdrawal phase is over.
Come join us as two speakers share on how they coped, followed by an exercise that can help us create our own recovery strategy.
More on May as Well(ness)
“Recovery has been a lengthy and slow process for me,
but the rewards are worth all the time and energy
I have invested in getting well.”
-Lara (ABA, pg. 231)
Journaling Prompts
What does wellness
mean to you?
How does wellness in recovery look different compared to when you were in your eating disorder?
What tools have you found helpful to move towards wellness in recovery?
Some Responses from our Fellowship
(A special Thank You to those who shared their responses with us!)
“Wellness to me means getting in touch with and nurturing my creative inner child.”
-Molly J. in the U.S.
"Wellness, to me, is rooted in awareness. The 12-Steps of A.B.A. have taught me the importance of taking a daily inventory—pausing to reflect, take stock, and stay grounded. By staying aware and using the tools of A.B.A., I’m able to maintain my wellness one day at a time."
-Logan in the U.S.
"Wellness is a byproduct of alignment with my Higher Power. When I listen and follow Godde's nudging I find myself within a beautiful flow. I then experience more ease in my life, and in my well-being."
-Anonymous
"I use methods such as rolling the dice, the random selection of cue cards, and calling other members to disrupt the control of the eating disorder."
-Anonymous
"The word “wellness” has many associations in my mind I am unable to separate from. I guess the words I would replace it with to match the intention of its original meaning would be: balance, connection, boundaries, and getting help from others and my Higher Power. It means: sleeping enough; having time for play and family and friends; not over scheduling; having time to clean my house; knowing when to give myself a break and ask for help or even pay for help; trying something new out and then letting it go if it doesn’t work for me; reliance on my Higher Power; having a sponsor I work The Steps with, as well as outreach/service to others, meetings and sobriety."
-Anonymous
Podcast Recommendation
On the ABA Podcast you will find a 7-Part Speaker Series Workshop. In these 7 episodes, different members whose professions can be categorized as apart of the "wellness industry" share their experience, strength and hope and how their perceptions of wellness have changed in recovery.
Ep. 47, The Dancer
Ep. 52, The Environmentalist
Ep. 56, The Martial Artist
Ep. 66, The Yogi
Ep. 82, The Life Coach
Ep. 101, The Gymnast
Ep. 105, The Cyclist
Upcoming Events
Retreat Countdown- 4 months to go!
Upcoming Meetings
GSR Meeting
Sat, May 30th @ 2:30 EDT
ZOOM ID: 883-1435-6561
PW: surrender
Birthdays
Kim W
Australia, 9 years
Hayley L
UK, 9 years
Doro
Germany, 2 years
Nicolette
UK, 1 year
Mel
UK, 1 year
*Note: You can hear more from these members as they share their experience, strength and hope on the podcast in these episodes:
Hayley- Ep. 28, Ep. 102
Kim- Ep. 12
Doro- Ep. 59
Nicolette- Ep. 137
Mel- Ep. 134
Sponsorship
Bex, UK
+44 7557 406444
Elizabeth E, NLD
+31 6 26709814
Kami, USA
+1 405 243 1253
Mairi, USA
+972 58‑722‑7002
Georgina M, UK
+447590757548
May all be Well!
We appreciate your questions, concerns, and ideas to help the newsletter best carry out our 5th and 7th traditions! Contact jessaatheart@gmail.com.
From page 145 of our ABA Book:
5th Tradition:
"Each group has but one primary purpose- to carry its message to the anorexic or bulimic who still suffers."
7th Tradition:
"Every ABA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions."
